How to be a REAL man

My family just finished watching the wonderful movie "Courageous". What a blessing that was! I wish every person in the world would go see it. It is about a father who is trying to recover from the tragic loss of his young daughter and finds what Scripture has to tell him about being a dad. One of the parts that struck close to home (and there were many) was the interaction between a dad and his teenage daughter who is considering dating. The dad told her that if she will trust her heart to him for right now, he would do everything he could to protect her until the right man comes along. I thought I would use this space to give my thoughts on what a girl should look for in a man and how a young man should act just in case either of my followers were interested.

1. If you like a young lady enough to ask her out, you need to get the parents' permission first. This is a non-negotiable rule in my family. If you don't respect my daughter enough to talk with me first, then you will never respect her enough in other areas. Be a man, talk to her parents first. If they say no for whatever reason, respect that. You must adhere to their rules regardless of how valid you think they are.

2. Treasure her. She is not your property or a prize to be shown off. She is a fragile, irreplaceable treasure that you need to treat with the utmost care. Take her heart into consideration at all times. Think about what you say, how you act and what you think. Would you like someone to think, act and say those things to your mom or sister?

3. Have good manners. Open the door for her. Come to the door to pick her up, don't sit in your car and honk, she isn't your homeboy. Pull her chair out for her. Send her a thoughtful text telling her why she is special. Make her feel like she is the only girl in the room.

4. No means NO! Don't ever pressure her to do anything. If she says no, you must respect that the first time every time. That applies to every situation from going out, to drinking, to sex and anything else you could imagine. No means NO! I would hate to come after you for not understanding this one.

5. She is not going to be your wife. Chances are the girl you think you are madly in love with is never going to be your wife. She will be the wife of someone else. Every girl you kiss is someone else's wife. Think about that.

6. Respect your mama. How a young man treats his mom is a good indication of how he will treat his wife. If he isn't respectful and kind to her, you have no business being with him. You cannot change him. Move on.

7. You should be #2, God should always be #1. This one probably should have been number 1. He MUST respect and fear God. If he does not have a strong personal relationship with God, you will never have a good relationship with him. God has to come first or your relationship/marriage will never live up to all that God has created it to be.

I know this may seem silly especially to a teenager but I really do have your best interest at heart on this one. I can tell you all day long that once you have your own kids you will understand and appreciate this advice but you won't believe me until you do.

I am stepping down from my soapbox now but reserve the right to jump back on with my megaphone at any time.

10 Things to Love About Texas

While there are many things to love about Texas, here are 10 in random order:

1. The sky - amazing lightening, clouds and sunsets
2. Texas high school football baby
3. Trees, trees and more trees
4. Everything starts later so you do not have to be up at oh dark thirty
5. Freebirds
6. State Capitol at night
7. bridges, bridges and more bridges
8. The Exchange Church
9. People talk about God everywhere
10. Gas was only $3.06 yesterday!!!


I think I might hang out here a while

Welcome to Texas Y'All

Yehaw! We have been in Texas for two months now and I have to say we are liking it more and more every day. It has been full of challenges, some of which we never anticipated, others we knew would come. For example, we were evacuated from our apartment because of a fire (unexpected) and we have been in either Urgent Care or the ER four, yes four, times already (expected). Even with all of that, this great, big, friendly state is where we now call home.

When they say things are bigger in Texas, they mean it. Their pride should be envied by every American. Texas flags and stars are everywhere and I mean everywhere. Texans love their state. How great would it be if everyone felt that proud of their state and all of us were that thrilled to be living in America? Just because 9/11 is over doesn't mean our patriotism should diminish. Get your flags out America! Be proud!

The bugs are also way, way, way bigger out here. They actually have a "cricket season". How disgusting is that? We have had more than our fair share of aggressive, giant, man-eating crickets inside our apartment. They are just plain nasty. Enough said.

The sky is bigger in Texas and has these enormous white clouds that make you want to reach out and touch them.

The people are so friendly and they will even let you merge onto the freeway in front of them! Imagine that California.

I hope to be blogging more frequently now that we are settled.

Come on out y'all, we'd love a visit! We'll keep the door open and the Texas shaped lights on.

I ADORE KINDERS!!!

Today I was fortunate to sub in kindergarten again. This is by far my favorite class at the school. I have spent quite a bit of time with these little guys and they have easily stolen my heart. I have one more day with them next week and it will be a challenge for me not to cry when I leave them. I am planning on attending their graduation to celebrate their hard work, growth and accomplishments. Get the tissues ready.

Kinders love you no matter what. They tell me that I am their favorite substitute. They play I Spy and say they see something pretty............and it turns out to be ME! They honestly don't think I am fat. They see nothing but the good in me. How refreshing! Grown ups should learn a thing or two from kinders.

As they were picked up from school I thanked them for making my heart smile today. I hope I can be a little more like them tomorrow.

A Different Perspective

With news this week about the death of Osama bin Laden, I have been reading many things about how people seem to be rejoicing in his death. Honestly, it makes me sad. I have to question this, I don't feel like rejoicing at all. Here is a different perspective about this.

I know this will be a very controversial post and will raise lots of feelings and questions. However, it has been on my heart since Sunday and I need to get this out there.

Possible - it could happen
Probable - it most likely will happen

I am a Christian and I hope that everyone who knows me knows that. I hope it shows in my actions and my words. I hope there is never a question about that. Part a being a Christian is trying hard to live like Jesus. I have to wonder what He would think about the death of bin Laden.

Think of the thief hanging on the cross next to Jesus. He admitted that he was wrong and had sinned and asked Jesus to remember him. Jesus told him that today he would live in Paradise. What if, stay with me, what if bin Laden asked for forgiveness at the last possible moment? Is that possible? Of course. Is it probable? Maybe, maybe not. But what if he did? That would mean that because the free gift of salvation is available to everyone who believes, it is possible that bin Laden accepted that gift. That would also mean that we (as believers) would spend eternity praising God along side Osama bin Laden.

We should never rejoice in the death of anyone, especially those who do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I understand the need for closure, justice and all of that but I believe that rejoicing in death is wrong. In doing so, we are just like bin Laden. We are rejoicing in the death of someone we don't like. That makes us no better than he is.

Is terrorism wrong? Absolutely! It should never be tolerated yet that is what we do. We tolerate it in our schools, our neighborhoods and sometimes in our own families. Just like every other sin, it starts with a small step, then another slightly larger one, and another. Think about it. Calling someone a name because they are fat, ugly, smart, skinny, short or whatever, is a simple form of terrorism. That's where it starts.

Are there consequences for our actions? Absolutely! Is death a consequence for an action? Sometimes. Does that mean we should rejoice in it and celebrate it? Not in my opinion.

I hope that if you are reading this you would at least consider this perspective. It may not be right but at least it will get you thinking.

A Parent's Guide to Kids' Sports

There shouldn't have to be an instruction book for parents who have kids that play sports. Parents should be smart enough to know what to do and more importantly, what NOT to do. My daughter has been playing team sports for the past 5 years and I have learned that parents have no clue how to be good spectators.

I am many things. A mom, coach, spectator, and a team mom. I want to do everything I can to make my kids' experience in sports fun and positive. It can be difficult at times and it takes some effort on your part. You can do it! I hope that every parent would read this post and pass it on to someone else.

Top 10 Ways to Enjoy Kids' Sports

10. Do your best to have your child at practice and events on time. Life happens, coaches are not unreasonable, they understand that. If you are going to be late or absent be courteous, let the coach know as soon as possible. This lets them make changes to compensate.

9. Support your child. Focus on the positive things. Encourage them to be better but not by pointing out mistakes.

8. Learn how to be a good loser. It takes a big person to lose gracefully. Do not make excuses. Do not focus on the loss, but look forward to the next hit, ball, quarter, game, whatever. Find the good and focus on that. The more you look for it, the easier it is to find.

7. Cheer for every player. Sadly, some kids have parents that cannot be at every event. You don't know the circumstances so don't even start to judge. Be encouraging for everyone on the team.

6. Cheer for the other team. Yes, cheer for the other team. When kids make a good play, congratulate them. It doesn't change the score but it may change their life.

5. Did I mention encourage your kids? Just checking. Really, this is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. It is necessary in every aspect of their life, not just sports.

4. Support the umpires and referees. They have a hard job. Their decision is final and if there are any questions, they should come from the coaches, not the players and NEVER the parents. Once the decision is made, it is done. Don't use it as an excuse. Let it go.

3. Let the coach do the coaching. If you have such valuable information to offer to help improve the team, try being a coach yourself. Do not help them from the sidelines, they know your child and every player on the team. They know the strengths and how to best utilize them as a team. The hardest part of coaching is dealing with the parents.

2. Learn how to be a gracious winner. Yes, you need to learn how to win graciously. It is not as easy as you may think. When you win, celebrate but don't gloat. Rejoice but don't brag. Congratulate every team member, not just your child.

1. Only offer positive comments. You accomplish nothing but bad things when you shout negative comments to your child, other children on the team, the coaches or the referees. This only makes you look bad and further crushes your child's self confidence. It also embarrasses your child. Think of the old saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Here is a bonus tip - The team wins as a team and loses as a team. It is a team, not one or two players. No one player is solely responsible for a win or a loss.

Kids are only kids for a short time. You only get one chance to parent them, there are no do-overs. Make the most of it. Sports are a great way to teach kids how to be a part of a team, learn cooperation, work together, be good winners and losers. Do your part as a parent to help them be successful.

Why, Why, Why?

It's a beautiful SoCal Saturday morning and my thoughts are racing around in my head as usual. Today, I thought I would list some thoughts that make me say, "Why, why, why?"

1. Why do boys/men want to wear their pants hanging so low that it looks like they dropped a load in their undies?
2. Why do they wear a belt to keep them that low?
3. Does this mean we need to start printing directions on belts now?
4. Why does the drive-up ATM have braille on it when it is located on the driver's side?
5. Why do girls/women think they look good with tons of skin and cleavage showing? It doesn't in fact, it makes you look like a tramp. Stop it!
6. Why do people freak out when there is a police man on the road? If you are driving like you should, you don't need to worry.
7. Why do people dress their dogs up like kids? Really? Do you think Fido is happy in that orange tutu?
8. Why does McDonald's sell sweet tea for $1 but the same size of unsweetened tea is $1.79? I'm saving you money so you charge me more? Thanks for that.
9. Why doesn't my son ever have a pencil in his backpack? You need it to do homework dude.
10. Why do the public restrooms for men have to be the same size as the one for women? Everyone knows that we go in pairs therefore, we should have twice the available seating.
11. Why doesn't everyone love to read? I just don't get it.
12. Why do we complain about paying $4.00 for a frozen pizza when we have no problem paying $18.00 for one in a restaurant?
13. Why do you have to pay for air at a gas station?
14. Why do we have to have 24-hour grocery stores? If you really have no food and have the munchies at 3:00 am, you probably shouldn't be driving anyway.
15. Why are people mean? Is that really necessary?

I guess I was just in a rambling kind of mood today. Why is that?

Hello Puberty! What Took You So Long?

My son is now 11 and is beyond anxious for puberty. He is the only person I know who wants to go through all of those nasty changes. Every day he performs a detailed check for arm pit hair. So far, he believes he has 3. Notice I said "he believes he has 3". This is because no one else has ever seen them. He does offer to let anyone and everyone touch them but I politely decline every time. He swears that his voice is already changing and that seems to make him very happy. Is this possible? Yes. It is probable? No. Not even close.

His feet are as big as mine, he eats everything he can get his hands on and smells just like a boy's locker room in a junior high school. The sign that tells me he is ready for puberty is that he LOVES to use Axe. That is a junior high school requirement right? He's ready.

For me, I guess this means I have to do some quick research and learn what is actually involved with puberty for boys because we only have girls in our family. Oh boy, that sounds fun. I'll let you know how "the talk" goes and if I survived. Until then, pray hard!

Hmmm I Never Knew

We have had some significant life changes recently. Most were not by choice but they have turned out to be good. My family has learned so many things through this adventure (notice I called it an adventure instead of the really stinky trial that it appears to be). We all have a new appreciation for things like hot water, a washing machine, 2-ply toilet paper and personal space. We have learned that we can do without so many things like TV, a dishwasher, lots of space, and Internet (although that one has been very tough on me). We have relearned to be creative, kind and appreciative. We have relearned that it is ok to rely on good friends every once in a while, in fact they like to help! It has been humbling, frustrating, relaxing, stressful and amazing. I would not change a thing.

By their own admission my kids were spoiled. In fact, all three of us were spoiled. We have learned that blessings and true joy do not come from material things. We took so much for granted. We did not take time to stop, evaluate and be thankful for what we did have. We are fortunate and our desire to help others has increased.

Life does not have to be so complicated. We can have a great time talking to each other and it is wonderful to be in bed before 10:00 pm! Imagine that! We do not have to be glued to our cell phones and computers. We can actually walk outside at night, stare in wonder at the stars and truley appreciate our Creator.

It is all in the perspective. I know I keep saying that but it is true. Until you learn it, you can't really understand what I mean. We could easily decide to wallow in our misery and misfortune. No one would blame us for feeling bad about our situation. OR, we can decide to learn from it, count and give continual thanks for our multitude of blessings and grow closer as a family. All three of us are picking option A. We are feeling thankful every day. We are doing for others. We are seeing the glass as half full.