Diary of a Fat Girl - week 1

I am going out on a limb and blogging my difficult trail to getting skinny again. I will be as honest as I can in the hope that it may help someone else get motivated or may make someone laugh.

Believe it or not, I used to be the skinny girl everyone told to gain weight. I actually tried to gain weight by eating entire large pizzas. Nothing worked. At 5'9" and 120 pounds, I was the "stick girl with no butt". People actually made fun of me back then because I was so skinny.

Today is no different, people see me differently because I am fat. I am still 5'9" and weight quite a bit more than 120 pounds. Sadly, I am not brave enough to tell my actual weight, but I will be posting my weight loss so you can see my progress and draw your own conclusions. I may even get brave and post a before and after photo (only if I get skinny mind you).

If you are my friend you will be reading this and saying, "You are not fat!" That, my friend, makes you a liar. Kind, but a liar none the less. I know I am fat. I am not thrilled with that fact, but it is a fact just the same. I love my friends and could not ask for better ones. You love me for my insides and I appreciate that.

Being fat has its challenges. You have ugly clothes. Let's face it, fat girls do not look cute in skinny girl clothes. For those fat women who wear skinny girl clothes, STOP IT! YOU ONLY LOOK BAD! Fat girls should never, ever, ever wear spandex, thongs, mini skirts, leather, mid-drifs, halter tops or bikinis. EVER!!!! I have trouble fitting in seats sometimes. For example, the old movie theaters where the arm rests do not lift up, the older airplanes, some rides at Disneyland and so on. You know people already seated on the plane are thinking, "please don't let her sit next to me!" I have had people ask me when I was due (never, ever say this unless you know with 100% certainty that the person is actually pregnant).

Most of my weight gain came from having children. I gained 50 pounds with each one and never really lost it all. I have tried every diet trick in the book including but not limited to, phen-phen, cabbage soup, weight watchers, exercise, alli, slimfast, dexatrim and too many others to mention. They don't work. I am smart enough to know the key is to balance good nutrition with exercise. That's it! Simple.

I signed up at the gym two days ago. Becca and some friends are going to keep me motivated and hold me accountable. I need that. My membership came with three free hours with a personal trainer. My best advice on that is to get a really cute trainer. This way you will work twice as hard and hold your stomach in while you exercise! Bonus! We talked about my goals, eating habits, exercise and how to eat. Here are his thoughts on eating: 1) Eat when you first get up even if it is a piece of toast or yogurt. This gets your metabolism working first thing in the morning. 2) Eat small meals or snacks every 3-4 hours. This keeps your metabolism working all day long, even when you are doing nothing. I used to eat one or two big meals a day and nothing in between. 3) Eat more protein and drink lots of water. I usually do ok on this one. 4) Exercise. I do this off and on. He set up a routine for me to do 4 days a week with adding cardio days if I feel like it for an extra push (calories, not muscle). 5) Stay off the scale. I already do this because I don't like the whirring sound it makes when the needle flies around the numbers so quickly. :) (remember, it is ok to laugh).

Yesterday, after the first circuit which took about 30 minutes, I felt great. I did the treadmill for 20 minutes after that and went to go buy better food. I didn't really feel like I had a tough workout. All was well. Today, I could hardly sit down and stand up without wanting a cane. The top of my thighs are killing me! What a workout that must have been. The hardest thing is sitting down to go to the bathroom. Yikes!

My goal is to work out at least 4 times a week, eat more frequently and make better food choices. I will do my best to blog once a week so you can monitor my progress if you want. If not, that's ok too.